


come, let me clutch thee

by backofthefront



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Anal Sex, Dirty Talk, Episode Tag, Established Relationship, M/M, Making Love, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, this is smut but it's also very tender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:33:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24810874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/backofthefront/pseuds/backofthefront
Summary: Set directly after “Dagger of the Mind.” Spock sees Kirk embracing Dr. Helen Noel in his neuralized state, and must remind Kirk who he truly belongs to. Kirk is more than happy to feel claimed.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Comments: 6
Kudos: 171





	come, let me clutch thee

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I haven't written fic in over three years and I make my return with pure smut. So it goes. 
> 
> Title from the Macbeth monologue that the episode derives its title from:  
> “Is this a dagger which I see before me  
>  The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.  
>  I have thee not, and yet I see thee still  
> Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible  
> To feeling as to sight? Or art thou but  
>  A dagger of the mind, a false creation  
>  Proceeding from the heat-oppressèd brain?”

Even before McCoy had made his exit, Kirk’s eyes were trained on Spock. 

“I’m surprised you don’t find it illogical that the loneliness of an empty mind can prove fatal, Mr. Spock,” Kirk remarked as Bones left the bridge. Spock looked up from where he was occupied taking the ship out of orbit; he knew the Captain wanted to get away from Tantalus colony as quickly as possible, though he would never admit such a thing in front of the rest of the crew. Spock, though, didn’t need his Vulcan mind-meld abilities to understand Kirk. He could read the Captain’s face like an open book or brightly lit PADD screen- Kirk’s mind was still stormy, clouded with the memory of Tantalus, the things the neuralizer had made him do. 

“You forget, Captain,” he replied, raising a perfectly-sculpted eyebrow, “I am Vulcan. We know the mind.” He glanced back down, unusual for him- he did not make a habit of breaking eye contact when speaking, as he considered it a human manifestation of shame or anxiety and giving his Vulcan heritage he should not be prone to such things. And yet, sometimes the human side won out despite his best efforts. “I especially know your mind,” he added quietly, almost as an afterthought. 

Kirk inhaled. “Yes. I suppose you do.” 

They dropped the subject until the shift was over. Kirk talked more than usual, mind still reeling from the emptiness of the neuralizer’s beam- he was subconsciously reaching out for human contact, conversational stimulation- a reminder he was not alone. Spock, though, found the small talk of the crew aboard the bridge hard to follow; it was as if his mind was phasing in and out of focus. The chatter of the humans around him filled the silence, but he didn’t partake in the conversation, finding the topics of idle conversation unstimulating and at times hard to understand. When the crew joked that he was reminiscent of a computer, he wasn’t offended, in part knowing there was some truth to it- he approached things analytically, and the human mind leapt and danced like a wild beast he couldn’t tame. Sometimes, because of this, he felt like he was watching through a pane of glass, apart from the rest of the Enterprise crew and, nevertheless, a part of them. He knew his own mind, though, and knew how to affect a false disposition. He didn’t lie, true, but he could ignore the truth of the feelings that were gnawing at him… At least, he could until the shift was over. He would remain professional, as always, and later he would talk to his captain. He would be reassured; it was only logical, and there would be no need to give voice to the trivial emotions that so plagued him. He nodded to himself. It would be so.

The end of the shift came soon enough. Kirk left the bridge and made his way towards his quarters briskly; Spock trailed behind silently, as if waiting for the other shoe to drop. The motions of the two men themselves were nothing out of the ordinary- it was not uncommon for Spock to join Kirk in his room for a game, a private conversation, or a number of other reasons not as publicly acknowledged- but there was a palpable tension clouding the air and clouding both of their minds.

Spock had followed Kirk into Kirk’s room, needing no invitation, and Kirk had beaten Spock at three games of chess in a row before he folded his hands, staring at his Commander who was staring at the chessboard as if trying to burn a hole in thin air.

“You seem distracted,” Kirk said. “You have seemed distracted since we left the prison colony earlier.”

Spock raised his gaze to meet Kirk’s. He meant to assure his friend that nothing was wrong, but found that he could not dodge the accusation; he could only admit the truth. “Forgive me, Captain. I admit my mind has been unusually cluttered these past few hours.” 

“And why is that?” Jim, as usual, was not accusatory. Spock had never doubted that the man only felt genuine affection and warmth for him; he was not prone to poking at his defenses in the ways other humans were wont to do. Not that Jim needed to poke at him, anyway- all of Spock’s walls collapsed in the face of that smile and those hazel eyes. 

“I do not wish you to concern yourself with my illogical notions, Captain, especially given the exceptionally mentally strenuous day you yourself have had. Rest assured that there is no cause for your alarm.” 

Kirk frowned, Spock’s words having the opposite effect of their intended message as his worry increased. “Cut the captain shit, it’s just us.” 

Kirk rarely swore, but was more prone to it when it was just the two of them- especially when he was feeling passionate (be it a passionate anger or lust). Spock nodded, mouth in a thin, tight line. “Jim.” 

“Is it about your meld with Doctor Van Gelder?” Kirk pressed. 

At this, Spock’s mouth turned into a full-fledged frown. Again, his feelings sprung forth like water from a geyser. “No. My thoughts have nothing to do with the mission.” 

“Then what are you so concerned over? And don’t bother telling me to forget it! You know that you… You know that I can’t…” Kirk trailed off, eyes pleading. 

“You, Jim!” Spock gave his head a small shake, as if trying to fling off what he considered an outburst of emotion as a dog would fling off water. “You should know that a large percentage of my mental faculties are concerned with you,” he finished more quietly. 

At that, Kirk began to smile. “You’re worried about me?” 

“You must admit the situations you always seem to find yourself in are precarious, and as such are cause for concern.” 

“Ah, but such is the life of a Starfleet captain.” 

“You know that is not the only reason I harbor such concern for you, Jim.” 

Kirk leaned forward, gently resting his hand over Spock’s on the table. Spock felt a current of static electricity course through him. 

“Yes, I know,” Jim said. “I know how much you care for me. But there’s nothing to worry about. Not anymore.” He looked at the floor and continued lowly, “It was… hard for me. Being out of control of myself. Out of control of my own mind…” He looked at Spock, leaning in earnestly. “But it’s over. And I’m here with you now.” He spoke as if Spock’s presence itself resolved anything. 

“I must admit, seeing your behavior in your neuralized state, has… regrettably awakened my baser impulses. Concern, yes, but also…” 

Kirk’s eyes widened as the realization hit him. “Spock! Don’t tell me you were jealous!” 

Spock narrowed his eyes- not in anger, but rather calculation, carefully measuring his response at being accused of such flagrant human emotion… perturbed that he could not deny it. “Seeing you embrace Miss Helen Noel was greatly displeasurable to me. I understand this is a highly irrational response, as I understand you were not in control of your own actions. And even during the moment, I felt… I knew you would never do that to me,” he finished, uncharacteristically fumbling for the right words. 

Kirk clasped both his hands around Spock’s as he answered. “No, never! I love only you.” At this, Spock rose from the chair and bent over Kirk, capturing his mouth in a possessive kiss, biting his lower lip. 

Kirk groaned into the kiss. “This Vulcan jealousy thing, or whatever this is- it’s really hot,” he said, lips pressing against Spock’s jawline. He not-so-secretly loved when Spock’s possessive streak reared its head and was more than happy to let his lover take charge. He ran his hand down Spock’s forearm encouragingly.

“I can tell you are aroused,” Spock replied, moving his right hand to grind against Jim’s rapidly hardening cock while the left remained tangled in the hair at the nape of Jim’s neck, holding him still while they kissed. Kirk bucked his hips up, seeking increased pressure or friction, while at the same time using his arms to pull Spock down towards him. The position was awkward, though, with Kirk still confined to the chair. He said as much. 

“Bed,” he half grunted, but the message was clear. Spock’s hands never left him, lingering always in some fashion- touching Kirk’s hair as Kirk pulled his pants off, hands low on his hips while he divested himself of his shirt, hands gripping Jim’s ass as he bit and sucked at his neck. Touching, always touching. Kirk wasn’t sure if it was due to sensitivity of the Vulcan’s hands or because he was simply so starved of physical contact otherwise, but either way he wasn’t complaining, and he leaned into the touches whenever Spock saw fit to give them.

“Miss Noel would not even know what to do with you,” Spock damn near growled, and Kirk nearly melted with lust. 

“That’s why I’m all yours,” he teased, voice thick with longing. Kirk had dragged Spock towards him and dragged the both of them towards the bed. He threaded the fingers of one hand through Spock’s hair and encouraged the Vulcan’s assault on his lips and neck. Meanwhile, Kirk’s other hand palmed Spock’s hardening cock.

“Yes, my love, allow me to show you who you belong to,” Spock said with a hint of mischief, allowing Kirk to fall back against the bed. Kirk was already naked, and even in the haze of lust he managed to eye Spock’s fully-clothed state disapprovingly. Kirk tugged at the hem of Spock’s shirt, and the Vulcan complied with the silent demand by tugging it off over his head. His pants followed soon after. 

“So sexy, I would never want anyone else, why would I want them when you’re perfect, so good,” Jim babbled as Spock’s lips once again found a pulse point at his neck and began to suck. 

“I should be careful, although I desire nothing more than to leave my marks all over you,” Spock teased, gripping Kirk’s thigh, “marks indicating sexual activity would be most unbecoming of a Captain.”

“I know, I know, but I wish that wasn’t the case,” Kirk breathed, clutching Spock’s body that bracketed his own. “I wish everyone could see how much you mean to me.” A thrill ran up Kirk’s spine at the thought of his Commander leaving his neck covered in hickeys for all the crew to see. That was strictly in the realm of fantasy, but the way Spock was gripping his thigh might be hard enough to leave bruises, exerting all of that Vulcan strength… At the thought, Kirk smiled to himself with pleasure.

Spock captured Kirk’s mouth in a passionate kiss before he pulled away to answer. “It does not concern me what anyone else thinks in regards to our relationship,” he confessed. 

Kirk ran a finger down the contour of Spock’s cheekbone, enraptured by his piercing gaze and smitten with the sharp aura of his features. “I wish I could project how I feel for you across all of space and time,” he confessed tenderly. “You make me feel less alone. Under the beam I…” he trailed off, closed his eyes, and shuddered. 

Spock rolled off from atop Kirk, taking the position beside him, propped up on one elbow and using the other one to caress his lover’s thigh. Their legs were entwined, and though Spock’s erection had flagged as his concern took precedence, he still shivered with the heat radiating from their combined arousal. 

“Maybe you should talk to me about it, my love,” he suggested gently. 

Kirk let himself relax against Spock. His head fit perfectly in the space between Spock’s shoulder and chin, as if it was designed by some god to belong there. “I don’t know how to explain it,” he finally said, absentmindedly carding his fingers through Spock’s chest hair. “The profound loneliness… How empty I felt. It scared me. Made me realize how much I take it for granted, and how much I want and need to feel…” He pressed an open-mouthed kiss to Spock’s clavicle, letting his tongue taste the salt of Spock’s skin. “And right now I want to feel you,” he breathed, lips making their way up to be hot against Spock’s neck, fingers gripping his biceps with a strength that would be hard enough to bruise a more fragile being. “I don’t need to feel you in my mind, just…” 

“In your body?” Spock finished. Kirk nodded into Spock’s shoulder. He would have liked to feel his Vulcan lover in his mind in that moment, to bond to him and feel Spock within every cell of himself, but grounding himself in physical reality might be healthier, he reasoned. Besides, it was hard to contest with the way Spock’s gentle fingers were stroking near the cleft of his ass. He felt overwhelmed with heat and need, and that was good; it was just what he wanted, to replace the paralyzing feeling of being overcome by the blank nothingness earlier.

“You want to feel me inside you?” Spock whispered, breath hot against Kirk’s ear. Kirk shuddered, reduced by lust to nothing more than a groaning animal, clutching at Spock’s biceps. 

Spock produced lubricant from somewhere nearby and Kirk surrendered to the sensation as his lover worked him open. By the time Spock’s hard, leaking cock was nudging teasingly behind his balls and slipping into his crack, Kirk was a babbling mess. 

“Please take me, I’m yours and only yours, just please, I need it so badly baby,” he panted as Spock’s cock caught on the rim of his clenching hole. Spock used one arm to hold himself up over Kirk, who was writhing underneath him. With the other hand, he gave Kirk’s cock a loose, teasing stroke. 

“You are sufficiently prepared for me to enter you?” he asked, smirking, knowing full well that Kirk was going crazy with anticipation. 

“Please, my love,” Kirk begged, hips bucking up into Spock’s grip- still too loose to provide any real relief, not that that would stop Kirk from trying- at the same time he attempted to grind his ass back against Spock’s cock in search of some friction. Satisfied that his lover was strung out, so ready for it he could barely speak, Spock plunged in to Kirk’s waiting hole with a surge of pride at how well he had made him unravel. Kirk cried out at the sensation. His cries of passion were muffled by Spock capturing his lips in a wet kiss. It was messy, unrefined, all twisting tongues and slick lips, matching the fluids coating their abdomen and thighs. 

Kirk wriggled in no particular direction, almost drowning in sensation. When he clenched around his lover’s cock, the Vulcan let out a hiss. 

“I fear I will not be able to last,” Spock said, still not moving enough for Kirk’s liking. 

“Me either, doesn’t matter, just fucking move,” Kirk gritted out.

Spock complied, inducing more delicious noises from his golden-haired captain. He pulled out only about halfway before slamming back in on each thrust, tantalized by the wet sounds of his balls smacking against Kirk’s ass. 

When Kirk nibbled at the tip of Spock’s ear, a sensitive place, he groaned. “My release is imminent,” he warned. 

“Come with me, come inside me,” Kirk said, eliciting another groan. Spock’s hand found Kirk’s cock, pumping it a few times as he thrust to speed along their release. There would be time to draw it all out later, to take their time with each other as they so often did, but right now they were chasing the dragon. 

The friction on his cock caused Kirk’s hole to clench and Spock came with a final, punishing thrust into the tight, inviting heat. Kirk mewled as he came a half a second behind him, shooting hot seed into the trail of hair on Spock’s abdomen. 

Spock caught his breath for a second before pulling out of Kirk’s ass, bringing a gush of fluid with him. They would have to change the sheets. Spock entertained the idea of a water shower instead of the usual sonic shower. He daydreamed about how he would rub scented soap into Kirk’s skin, lavising him with kisses under the faucet, before he was promptly brought back to reality by his human lover, who by this time had caught his breath as well and turned to stare lovingly at Spock.

“That was great,” Kirk said, perhaps unnecessarily. Spock nuzzled his hair, breathing in the human’s intoxicating post-coital scent. 

“Yes,” he said in complete agreement. “I did not possess my usual stamina and find myself now more tired than when we usually conclude intercourse.” 

Kirk rolled his eyes. “Probably because you fucked me so hard I almost passed out. I think I saw heaven.” 

“I was unaware that you subscribed to Terran religious beliefs,” Spock replied playfully, raising one eyebrow in his usual fashion, indicating he knew Jim was joking. “But I concur that the unusually vigorous nature of our coupling has exhausted me.” 

“Mhmm. Me too. You should get jealous more often,” Kirk said sleepily, eyes already half closed.

“It disturbs me that I was so overcome with emotion when I laid eyes on your and Miss Noel. My reaction was highly illogical,” Spock confessed, staring up at the ceiling.

Kirk sighed, rolling over to wrap his slightly sweaty arms around his lover. “You don’t have any reason to feel that way. I mean it when I say that I find it arousing.” 

“It is disrespectful to be possessive of my mate,” Spock said, a hint of worry in his voice. 

“You don’t disrespect me, certainly,” Kirk said earnestly. “That’s one of the many things I love about you, Spock. You treat me as an equal. You respect me, but at the same time you’re not afraid to put me in my place.” He nipped playfully at the Vulcan’s pointed ear. “And show me who I belong to.” 

Spock relented, accepting Kirk’s embrace, and in that moment he could have damn near purred in contentment, feeling an unyielding sense of acceptance and understanding radiating from his lover. It was a feeling, Spock hoped, that Jim knew he returned in kind.

“I am gratified by the feeling that you understand me,” he said plainly. Jim hummed in response, minutes away from dozing off with his head on Spock’s chest. 

“I do not wish to rouse you when you appear to be so comfortable,” Spock continued, running his fingers through Kirk’s hair, “but sleeping in our current state would be most unpleasant given the amount of emissions currently in the process of drying in our immediate vicinity,” he said sardonically. Kirk grumbled, but lifted himself into a sitting position with little protest. 

“Yeah,” he winced, “I don’t wanna end up glued to the sheets.” He waggled his eyebrows at Spock suggestively. “Join me in the shower?” 

Spock smiled, rising from the bed. It looked like his daydream would come true. Perhaps he could even find the stamina for that more leisurely round two.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. I'm on tumblr @ gothspockk if you ever want to drop by. 
> 
> LLAP


End file.
